MURMUR

Doors doors doors doors!!! So many frickin doors! I recently moved from a cottage sporting three doors in the entire 1500 square feet. To a whopping 16 door house. So obviously this is a post about doors and their history and what they mean to me and my cats. Do I like them? I’m not sure what I think about them yet. My cats seem to be fascinated by them, reminding me of the people on the Price is Right, hey Buster, what is behind door # 2?? Oh look!! A room..or perhaps a busy street, a hallway or if we are really really lucky, there might just be…..a closet!! The magic of doors, I feel it now, I really do!! I feel it so much….. I desperately need to take door #2 off it’s hinges between the kitchen and the dining room. Do we leave a door open? Do we pick door #7 and leave it closed? Someone very close to me doesn’t EVEN want to consider leaving a door permanently closed. Expressing to me how it really breaks up the flow of the house. This makes me ponder the expression sometimes used about locked doors and open doors, referring to our frame of mind or opportunities. Are you a closed door kind of person? Do you open a new door every morning or close your door to the world? Do the doors in my house hold these same sentiments? Doubt it..yet… if my bedroom door ever gets stuck, I’m sure I’ll hesitate…just for a second to consider how the wood is feeling.

Every single time (the statistic here is 100% accurate) I open a door (especially to a closet), the cats rush in to see what magical land awaits them, usually a plethora of shoes. Unfazed by the hard rubber and leather, their triggered response keeps them exploring, hoping for the possibility of finding something new or just a cozy place to hide. Do they know something we don’t?? I remember hiding in closets when I was a little kid by myself and with friends eating pop-tarts. Who wouldn’t want to explore if suddenly dropped into a house of doors, and if this surreal adventure actually did happen, how long would it take to go through the first door?? Anything could be on the other side, a vampire, a beach, a couple having sex or possibly my dead grandmother. God, that would freak me out! C’mon who hasn’t seen “Cube” I definitely don’t know my prime numbers, do you??

I’d like to recall a few times when doors have meant the most to me, appreciating their strength for keeping the meanies at bay. Some nasty-freaky-people broke into my house in Southern California, this is a time I was unexpectedly satisfied for the door to my bedroom to be closed. I immediately jumped out the window as the door swung open by a robber. The main door served me well too, warning me as it busted open, that this was not its usual sound. It’s critical to have a door to mask the scary dark hallway in the middle of the night when I’m all alone. I’m fond of my imagination, but not when it conjures up a demon or zombie racing in from the hallway to kill me. My flimsy unlocked caboose door kept the meth-head rambler out, leaving him unaware I was hiding on the other side. There are numerous times I’ve been protected by a door. I can’t imagine wishing I had palm leaves or an animal hide instead. Is a door the strongest barrier against evil?? Maybe it’s time to revisit my college film entering through a door, I’m realizing more interesting possibilities than my parents stored junk!

For my blog!, originally uploaded by ecstaticbird.

I wonder if one post will be enough to explore the question traveling along my brain synapses. Should a human “own” a wild animal? My immediate response is HELL NO! However …..I have read stories, that really get my goat, about confiscating a wild animal away from a human. What an unfortunate circumstance it is, to build a bond resulting in a separation - leaving a broken-hearted human and a desolated wild animal. What does one do? Is it possible to make a law with exceptions? Do we need a law in the first place? How do we live freely if we can’t make proper judgments and an even bigger question I ask, why can’t we make better judgment calls?

I’ll fess up to wild animals making me crazy, I’m a spiral-wide-eyed girl for a cute panda bear. I’d like to linger on an observation of these feelings, wondering if they are exclusive to wild animals. I’ve noticed a distorted idea of ownership we can’t seem to escape. We have to own objects, people, beliefs and opinions…ect… and throughout history it seems wild animals.

Aren’t we animals ourselves? Is language what keeps us superior?

I’d like to share a relationship I witnessed with Pat Derby and Ed Stewart at PAWS in San Andreas, California. I believe beyond a doubt, Pat and Ed, deserve more then anyone I have ever met the privilege to coexist with wild animals. I’ve been to zoos, wildlife parks and private ranches where I haven’t even come close to experiencing the amazing love between a human and wild animal like I did at their sanctuary.

And why is this experience so powerful?

Pat Derby deserves A LOT more attention then I’ll be able to give to her and her past is worth seeking out. She was a Hollywood animal trainer who started to use humane techniques and stood up against the cruel practices others were using in her field. She is a feisty determined firecracker for the welfare of animals. Her and Ed Stewart are the Founders of the Performing Animal Welfare Society. Her book “A Lady and her Tiger” is a powerful memoir that left me with events I won’t easily forget. She writes about her years of difficulties searching for funding and land for the rescued animals. The PAWS 2300 acre San Andreas sanctuary is finally an incredible successful home to her and the lucky beasts.

PAWS, once a month, gives a tour of their land - gently introducing you to the animals. They provide a new life, most of the animals there have had a hard time coming from circuses, zoos and private owners through the exotic animal trade. They’ve done the best they could with the resources available, not allowing themselves to stretch beyond their means. Each story on the website of the animal’s background will make any animal lover sigh with great sadness. My boyfriend and I went on the extended weekend tour, since I wanted to get some material for a short documentary. I’m so glad we did too, because Sunday was a very intimate experience at their 30 acre Galt sanctuary with Pat, Ed and another couple from LA. Fortunately for my project, we all bonded like cookie dough on a spoon. A memorable occasion for sure!

Sunday we were able to meet Roy, a Siberian Tiger, crossed-eyed from his breeding and luckily rescued before he was sold on the market as a pet. I could go on and on about each animal’s story, but it was their behavior toward us that astounded me. It’s was my the first time being close to a wild animal acting relaxed, happy and expressive. A tiger walked past the fence staring directly into my eyes, sending a chill up my spine (which is exactly what I would imagine would happen in the wild). Another big cat, Alexander, a black leopard, displayed some of his natural instincts, the first was him sitting as still as a statue, while we approached hoping we wouldn’t see him. He didn’t move until Pat called out letting him know he was in our site, then he came up to the fence and rubbed his head so she could scratch it. His playfulness didn’t end quickly, there was no stopping Alexander. He strutted over to the empty pool plopping down for a catch the tail game, followed by a peek over the rim of the plastic pool. I imagined him thinking this might be more amusing for his visitors. He was right!! It was hard to walk away, but a monkey was waiting for us, so I needed to say good-bye. When I looked back, he was under the tree sprawled out on his back looking over his shoulder at us. Really, leopard??? Am I truly observing you acting like this? I can’t even remember the last time I saw anything like it- especially not at a zoo where the animals are usually pacing, stressed or showing off their dead sleeping pose.

I have to admit when I saw Pat and Ed saying hello to the animals, talking to them and scratching lovingly, I wanted to run up and kiss their heads and pet them like a wild woman. A sweet old bear walked over to the fence where I was standing and started to rub herself against it, she looked so much like my big bear of dog, Nanook. I had to put my hands in my pockets to restrain myself. I started to get the wild-animal fever boiling up inside me, but reality set in, this tender little bear could rip my arm off in a matter of seconds. It hardly seemed possible at that moment, I had to find an inch of reality through the fog of lust. Plus what have I done? I gawked at them with a burning desire to be loved by them. Obviously, I wouldn’t just run up to a person and start petting, kissing and expecting them to love me without building a patient trustful bond. If anyone deserves to be petting and kissing the animals, it is Ed and Pat. Their years of hard work of building a natural relationship full of understanding seems to be an obvious display of what love and patience can create.

What are acceptable conditions for someone to live with a wild animal? I guess it would fully depend on whether they could give them a life they deserve (space, food, freedom), treat them with respect and know they are not ever the animals owner and yet still commit to caring for them for the rest of the animal’s life. Perhaps a law can be passed with an exception to these unique individuals. ?? Maybe??

grass mouth!, originally uploaded by ecstaticbird.

I’m so excited to write this post, my fingers can’t keep up with the typing. After watching King Corn, I’ve made a promise, I will not eat meat, unless I know where it comes from. Evidently, I’m not a fan of concentrated animal feeding operations, since the cows are fed corn, soy and by-product feed stuff. I think everyone in the world should eat less meat, stop the mass production of grain/corn fed beef and get back to the grass-fed, free range, organic and natural processes. A farm that follows these practices should be supported. People are not ever going to stop eating meat, so let’s do it right!!

This is why I’m happy to introduce Marin Sun Farms, if you already know about it, all the better! They even have pictures of their farm!! Sorry Petaluma Poultry, coupons just aren’t going to do it for me, but I appreciated them getting back to me

Dear Renee,

Thank you for taking time to write to Petaluma Poultry. We always
appreciate hearing from our loyal consumers. With respect to your
request to visit our ranches, the safety and well being of our birds is
paramount to Petaluma Poultry. We take great care to insure our birds
are raised in a stress free environment and have ample room to forage
and roam.

Because of safety reasons and bio security procedures we employ on all
of our ranches, we do not offer tours to the outside public. I hope you
can understand our position and keep in mind that the welfare of our
birds is the reason we don’t offer tours.

As a small way of thanking you for your patronage, we would be happy to
send you coupons towards our Rocky(r) and Rosie(r) fresh chicken
products.

To learn more about Petaluma Poultry’s fresh chicken products and our
raising protocols, I invite you to visit our website at
www.colemannatural.com or if you have additional questions, please feel
free to contact our consumer affairs department at 1-800-556-6789.

Thank you again for contacting us and have a great day.

hmph! If you’re going to eat them, please at least be kind to them!!

Cow, originally uploaded by ecstaticbird.

This is the best news I’ve come across in a long time, sitting at my desk earlier today, reading The New York Times article, Heaven’s Angels, I couldn’t stop smiling. Shaved heads, enormouse muscles, tattoos and hearts of gold. I love these guys and their mission - they even have an ok name, Rescue Ink. I know…if I saw someone treating an animal poorly, these are the guys I would like to call!

Image taken from the New York Times article.

After reading the article on the BBC news website, about dolphins tail-walking, the familiar Simpsons episode “Treehouse of Horror XI” immediately came to mind. Do we really have to worry about dolphins taking over our world? It’s not at the top of my worry list, but we shouldn’t dismiss their incredible ability to learn, form their own cultures/gangs and communicate. A dolphin’s story that was quick to get my eyes a little moist, is how Moko saves the stuck whales in New Zealand. They’re a bit like humans with their prejudices, they will save some whales and yet gang up on porpoises, killing them. I have one more favorite dolphin story, where a human is saved by a pod of dolphins

PS painting I did a year ago, with some quick filter on top

If I did, I’m sure they would be photoshopped, which is what I first thought about Yoda, the grey kitty from Chicago. What? How does this cat show up with four ears? Have there been other cases in cat history? The answer is yes, Yoda isn’t as unique as his internet fame leads us to believe, I came across the site messy beast. Hmm…I’m glad I don’t have an additional lobe, I don’t think I would be as cute. He definitely has an adorable edge, but I get freaked out looking at him, just like I would if I saw the real Yoda.

Around nine years ago, I was vegan, living in a caboose and working around 30 hours a week. I made most of my meals, due to Fairfax allowing me access to plenty of farms and organic vegetables. I didn’t even eat sugar, (since most of it is sifted through animal bones) and I stayed away from bread (because it has yeast). I could tell when it was a full moon - the little bit of land the caboose inhabited didn’t have any street lamps or cars driving by (there was a long private driveway). It was similar to camping, except all the time, there was a wood-burning stove for heat and lockless doors. I had 3 cats and 3 dogs, my own binki-bunch. I cut up all my leather products and swore only to wear non-animal garments. These days my eating habits are much different - healthier for me, I’m not a vegan anymore, but my respect and love for animals has not changed.

Now I’m on a quest as a flexitarian (”a vegetarian who occasionally eats meat”) to find the most cruelty-free farms in the bay area. I have some like-minded friends who are helping me find the right places to look and I’d like to share their knowledge as well as my own. Here is an informative blog from Emily, she has been on a similar search for over a year. I’ve found some very useful info here and I plan on keeping her close for answers.

I’m overwhelmed by how much is accessible on the web, leaving me with plenty to write about and learn. I’m very excited to hear from anyone with thoughts and ideas about how we can decrease our ignorance and live a well-balanced life. To quote one of my favorite genuises in history, Buckminster Fuller, “I have to say, I think that we are in some kind of final examination as to whether human beings now, with this capability to acquire information and to communicate, whether we’re really qualified to take on the responsibility we’re designed to be entrusted with. And this is not a matter of an examination of the types of governments, nothing to do with politics, nothing to do with economic systems. It has to do with the individual. Does the individual have the courage to really go along with the truth?”

Photo of caboose window, taken by Linda Snyder an old friend of mine

The title of my post and category is from the countdown leader of a film I spliced together, while I was a projectionist at the San Rafael Theater. Now called the very long, Christopher B. Smith Rafael Film Center - which is what happens when you are a non-profit organization and someone gives you money you desperately need, we are grateful. BUT …If I had a lot of money, I wouldn’t want something named after me, well…. maybe a cute bug discovery, scientific-like binkusbugi, not like that poor spider named stephencolberti

It was an interesting place to work with exciting old and new independent movies every week, and I was able to watch most of them, safely behind the glass, in a hot dark room, letting my tears flow as free as a dog taking a pee. I don’t think there was one week without a depressing tear-jerker, or a movie like Winged Migration that played so long I think I memorized the bird’s routes myself.

I still watch as many movies as I can, since I find them to be the ultimate form of expression. Imagery, music, editing and dialogue can make for one of the most powerful experiences I’ve ever had within the art world. There are too many extaordinary movies for me to keep to myself, along with some of the hilarious projectionist mishaps. If you haven’t been a projectionist, you have no idea what a slave to the film god one becomes…..